Sarita Buer (00:04.142)
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Back to Here with Sarita. I'm so happy that you're here with me today in this creative space where I will be sharing with you some insights that I've been having over the last couple months after my life -changing trip to my homeland in April. So this particular episode is already starting off a little frustrating for me because the platform that I usually utilize to record my videos is currently not
working very well so I've opted to do this as an audio only. However, I am recording this on my phone so I'm going to see if I can try to figure out how to stitch the two together. We'll see how that works. So if you are catching this on YouTube, there's a possibility that this episode might just me be a picture of my podcast itself and then you'll just have to wait for the next time around for an actual video. Sometimes we have no control, well we don't have any control,
control over any types of type of electronics. However, what we do have control over is our mindset and just rolling with the energies that are provided to us. So here I am rolling with the energies. So this particular episode will be a little bit more on the personal side because I'll be utilizing you as kind of like my spoken word diary. If you want to take it is that I'll be just sharing with you some reflections that I've had along the way as I have been detoxing myself.
myself. And so this episode will be a little bit more short than the normal ones because the purpose of it is just to share with you the insights that I've been having and to bring you up to speed with what is going on in my life.
Sarita Buer (01:53.741)
And that's what I really love about this particular platform and my podcast. And my personal approach is that I actually really just love sharing my lessons, my insights, my light bulb moments as I go along and as I navigate life. And I'm hoping that it helps you as well to navigate your life and your healing. And the insights that I have are always here on the podcast, but if you want to catch up with the daily insights,
lightbulb moments, ahas, I definitely share all of that stuff on my Instagram at Sarita Wellness and share that within my stories pretty much on the frequent. So if you're new here, let me share briefly that I took a transformational trip back to my homeland in April to El Salvador, which left me very healed and very healed on a much deeper level than I ever thought was possible.
So after coming back, you can imagine I ended up serving my life and I realized that there were just certain parts of my life that just did not match up anymore.
And so the name of this particular episode is detoxing. And so when we think about detoxing, we kind of think about detoxing as more of a physical way, like cutting out certain foods out of our diet to make us feel better, to amplify ourselves, maybe do a juice detox, to cleanse ourselves. But have you ever done a different type of detox before? Perhaps you've done a digital detox or maybe a social media detox where you decided not to be on social media for a certain amount of time.
Or maybe you've done a tv detox where you have not watched tv for a certain amount of time. But have you ever done an emotional detox? Well there were what brought this to mind where there were certain parts of my life that I realized that I just wanted to withdraw my energy from and there were certain things that were just not in alignment anymore.
Sarita Buer (03:53.325)
And so I could go deeply into what alignment is and why it's important, but I will save that for another episode and I can go a lot deeper into that. But what I can tell you is that there were certain parts of my life that just did not feel good like they used to anymore.
Let me relate this to a little bit more on the physical aspect. For example, I have been doing clean eating now for over a year and it's really challenging now for me to go out to eat and especially eat things like fried food because it literally makes me feel terrible.
And so just like a physical detox, emotional detox is basically choosing to step away from circumstances, relationships, and maybe even commitments that are just not real, not aligning with you anymore. So you can regain some emotional authority.
So after I got back from my trip to El Salvador, I literally felt like a different person. Like at my core level, I felt like I was different. There was something different there. However, I think with everything that sometimes it takes our environment a little while to catch up with what's like underneath the surface and our consciousness to reflect that. And so on the outside for about a month or so, I was still kind of operating and acting like the old version of myself.
trying to kind of acclimate to the internal changes that were happening and feeling and I just didn't know kind of what to do. And it's kind of like, let me relate it to like, have you ever felt kind of awkward when you've worn like a brand new pair of like super cute high heels and you just haven't broken them in yet and your feet are like, this is uncomfortable. Or maybe you've been lifting some weights at the gym and you decide to increase your weights. And when you do that, your mind and body are like,
Sarita Buer (05:45.999)
like my god this is something new like how can we kind of you know change and acclimate to what's going on so it was kind of like that and so it dawned on me like it didn't it was kind of playing out and it dawned on me what came up to light was that a couple people in my life were speaking to me a certain way and treated me a certain way and I realized I had actually been allowing it for so long
and I had allowed it because I didn't realize that they were actually treating me and talking to me a certain way and so I remember having this moment thinking nope I refuse to be treated like this or talked to like this and so that's what brought it up to light.
And so yes, one of the situations, experiences that I have that I'm referring to has to do with a man that was just not respecting me as the whole amazing woman that I am. In that moment, not just with him, but with the other people, I realized that I just did not want to repeat the same patterns over and over again.
Sarita Buer (07:00.621)
I think we get to the point in our journey after putting some energy and effort into things that what we permitted before without a second thought at all actually ends up becoming the reason we implement boundaries. And so one of the most profound insights that one of my best friends gave me around boundaries.
is the reason we do this, let me tell you, this is really amazing, so just wait for this, that we don't just create boundaries to protect ourselves, but we actually create and implement and honor boundaries because it's teaching us to create a loving and trustful relationship with self. Really mind blowing.
So for example, let me kind of break this down for you in a way maybe that is a little bit more easy to understand. Let's think about money. For example, if you decide to save, let's say, $25 a month without fail for 90 days in your savings account,
and only use it for emergency purposes and you're doing a great job and you're putting in that $25 every single month and you do it consistently for 45 days and then all of a sudden you decide to go on a rampage splurge at the thrift store and you end up using that savings for this splurge even after you promise yourself that you wouldn't touch it. Right then you literally broke trust with yourself.
Let's put this in like a little bit different way to think about. Let's say you're talking to somebody new and you're like getting to know them and you really desire to actually create like good communication and you want to get to know them better and you choose like, okay, I don't want to have sex with them. But then the act actually happens. And in the moment, it's amazing, right? Like it's amazing it happens just like the splurge that you take.
Sarita Buer (09:03.533)
you have like at the thrift store and it feels good but then afterwards you start reflecting on things and you realize that you overstep that boundary. You had created that boundary for not just the reason of getting to know that person and all that but you had created that boundary for yourself as to not break it. Very fascinating right? This is how we develop this sense of self -trust.
And it's so crazy how quickly we can break self -trust with ourselves, right? Like, what was so profound for me that I realized in the whole boundaries and self -trust was that I want others to treat me with respect and love. I want others to do this for me, yet I'm not doing this for myself.
And wow, man, that was a huge light bulb moment for me that I realized that I hadn't made that I was allowing my own mistreatment because I wasn't setting the boundaries. And then when I was, I was actually breaking them. So if you can imagine, this is a really big pill to swallow for me, especially kind of being a like an Aries in that way where I am the type of person that likes to be kind of
of in control so I felt a little kind of shitty about it and that I felt crappy that I had actually permitted these few people to talk to me and treat me and walk all over me and do all the things not to mention the whole thing was I was doing it to myself
And so this was a really important lesson for me to learn and I feel like I would not have been open to it or had clear eyes had I not taken this trip and not have done the deep level of healing that I've been doing for the last couple years.
Sarita Buer (11:03.021)
So of course after hitting my palm to my forehead a couple times in dismay, I decided that the next step was actually to do something about it because I just didn't want to keep going into the looping pattern over and over again having the same results of having somebody talk to me the way that they do and making me feel like crap. And so what came forth after doing some meditative work and journaling was to do an emotional detox. Now
I want to preface that I'm very aware that an emotional detox is much more simple for me because I am single and I don't have children.
and I can literally work from anywhere and I have very few responsibilities in my life. I recognize wholeheartedly that I am insanely privileged in this area because I'm of that lifestyle that has that. So if you're the type of person that has children, significant other, family, a job, report to, all sorts of responsibilities, it might be a little bit more challenging to do an emotional detox. However, it is not impossible.
So the first thing of course is that we recognize the pattern of behavior, which was me getting clear on what I wanted to experience from that person and not experience from that person. And just in general, what I wanted to experience when it came to respect, trust, and love. What are my intentions? What are your intentions?
Well, I wanted to create a deeper level of self -trust and self -love because eventually I do really want to have a partner who will emulate that with me and share that with me and continue to cultivate a relationship with other people in my life that are going to be walking the same path as me, aka basically not be in their victim story.
Sarita Buer (13:03.341)
So then it took some time for me to actually take some action to communicate with these people, with these couple of people in my life, that I just things were changing for me. And that is always the challenging thing, I believe, for somebody, maybe who's on the other side of the boundary setting. And even for the person that's setting the boundaries is actually creating that and communicating that.
And so that's the interesting thing in our lives is that finding those people who are actually going to be in alignment and walking the same path as us with those particular new ways of being. And so it's their choice, right? It's their complete choice if they want to have those, if they want to be in alignment with those boundaries. We have it daily.
Sarita Buer (14:18.349)
So some things that I was asking myself is, am I willing to meet myself exactly where I am? Am I willing to meet where this person is? And if that person is not on the same path as us or has not arrived at the current location of where you are, it's totally okay. It's no shame on them or where they are.
However, sometimes with those situations, it's just better to step away from them.
And that's what happened with people tend to filter out themselves in our lives because they choose not to walk the same path as us. And that's totally okay. They were there for a reason in our lives and in that particular chapter in our lives to teach us a lesson and to most importantly teach us more about ourselves. And if there's anything that I've learned in the last three years is creating a deeper seeded level of self love and self trust and the relationship with myself.
So apart from communicating the aspect I thought that was important around the self -love and emotional detoxing and everything like that, communicating to the other people, one of the ways that I thought that what came to light was that I wanted to do after having some meditation time and thinking and reflecting was that I wanted to not only remove myself from certain situations but also draw the energy back into myself.
And I've been doing this for a little while and it's helped me that I've changed my environment so I can get a fresh perspective on things. So lucky for me, I've been doing a lot of pet sitting and house sitting over the last couple months here and in and around San Diego, which has helped me to actually funnel energy into myself solo time and then take care of some amazing cute little pets in their home.
Sarita Buer (16:14.509)
Another action that I decided that came to light after doing meditation and some journaling was that I wanted to be intentionally celibate for 30 days, meaning I would not be on any dating apps, not doing any texting or talking with anybody and not have anybody come from my past or find anybody new. Not meaning that I didn't want to make friends with anybody, but just being very intentional about my energy in the way that I've
ever done before. And the reason that I was doing this is that it's not only detox me from like prior lovers, but also give me the space emotionally to move on from people that were no longer.
in my energy or utilizing my energy so I could cut from their energy. I do have to say that during this emotional detox, it's been quite empowering actually to draw the energy back into myself and spend a lot more quality time in my own energy and develop a lot deeper sense of trust and love for myself. And I've had the opportunity to not only go to new homes and take care of pets and be solo and do some reflection time, but also
it's allowed me to free myself from prior emotions that were actually weighing me down.
So since then, I've had a better sense of clarity and direction. I feel like my intuition's actually heightened quite a bit and my level of self -love has grown a lot deeper. It's really amazing what can occur when we actually turn inward, when we decide to bring that energy back into ourselves. And for me, this was just, this has just been the beginning of it all. And I kind of like to see this as a pattern in trust.
Sarita Buer (18:04.879)
but also a way that I am course correcting and it's helping me in leading me closer to my soul's calling to get my life back and then also get me back to the wholeness of who I essentially am at my core.
So when this episode releases on Monday the 1st, it will be exactly like 30 days of intentional emotional detoxing. And at that time I will decide because it's 30 days because that was the commitment that I had for myself. And I'm very grateful that I have not broken trust with myself during this time period. And at that time on the 1st, I will decide if I want to continue this emotional detox or not. And I feel like sometimes giving ourselves a small
goal like I said 30 days which is something that was so much more attainable like something that was a bite size that I can actually accomplish versus something like six months or 52 weeks and so it's all about just creating these small goals and these small steps versus being overwhelmed by this large like staircase that's right in front of us. So 30 days is what I felt like was important so as of the first I will evaluate what happens next and I will definitely report back.
on what else ends up coming through and what comes up for me as I continue this adventure. But as of right now, I wanted to share this with you in my journey that what is happening right now so I can support you on your journey in your healing and your process as well.
Well, love, I hope that has been supportive to you. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy that you were able to be with me on this very, very short, brief episode. And like I said, I hope it was supportive. And if it is, make sure to share this with somebody that maybe is going through this process or maybe needs a little extra nudge in the boundary of self -love and maybe even creating a emotional detox for themselves.
Sarita Buer (20:14.573)
Have a wonderful rest of your day and as always keep being the amazing you that you are. Take care.
Sarita Buer (20:27.469)
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